June. In Florida. And You're Doing An Art Festival.

The words, "are you fucking nuts?" come to mind.

I have always avoided art festivals in the months of June, July and August in the state of Florida. First of all, there just aren't very many to do and second, it's too bloody hot.

Summer in Florida means afternoon thunderstorms and rain, usually of epic, however short-lived, proportions. So, if you sign up for a festival in June...you have to prepare for torrential rains. June 1 means the start of hurricane season here, but that's really not an issue. It's the heat that's an issue.

There is the problematic generator. Most festivals won't allow the use of a generator (because it's too noisy and creates a possible health hazard with extension cords and fire possibilities). Some festivals have the use of electricity at a cost, but most do not. So, your 12-volt fans are useless, unless you have the generosity of a next-tent neighbor who has a really good marine battery or a quiet $800 generator that he lets you plug in to (thank you, Mr. Make Chalk Boxes For Kids).

The last festival I did was in Dunedin, FL and it was a specific craft festival, so I really didn't expect much. I was (thankfully) surprised by the sales so I'm definitely planning another trip to Dunedin in better weather.

Because, it was hell. Hell as in hot. Hell as in hot on parking lot asphalt hot.

I gave in and purchased a battery-operated fan at CVS Pharmacy in a fit of wild-eyed fever so that I had some sort of moving air on Sunday, because Saturday with no fan almost did me in. I was literally drenched in sweat from just setting up in 80-degree humidity. "Drowned Rat" best described my appearance the rest of the day, which turned in to 101-degree heat. I think people bought my art out of pity for the poor creature that looked like she stepped off of a Les Miserables set.

My hubby absolutely will not do the marine battery thing. Not sure why, other than the cost factor of a marine battery. We are looking in to a Ryobi charger and battery, with a fan attachment. That is about the same cost altogether, but he says he can use the battery for other devices, which just means that when we load up and do another art festival, the charger and battery will inevitably not be in the van, because he will have taken it out to use it at work, and I'll never see it again.

Lesson here is: Buy a fan. Keep it in your art vehicle. Write your name all over it. Don't leave home without it. Because, if you are going to brave a festival in Florida in June...you will need it to survive.